So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
our cab driver is having phone sex.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
