Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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