are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
