I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
