Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
