So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
