Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
