I don't remember. Are we still dating?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
