I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
