White coat. Heels.
Dual....:-)
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
