I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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