bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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