What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
