I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
