Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
