I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There r osticjed everywhere
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
