Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
