In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i can't believe i had my finger in that
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
