im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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