I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
