Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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