i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
