yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
3 2 1 whiskey
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
