Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
40s are totally the cure
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
