Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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