Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
