is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
