We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have aggressive nipples.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize