Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
