The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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