...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
