I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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