I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
