shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
