Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
