So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
