Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
