I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
