I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
