these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
