Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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