Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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