My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
