Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
