is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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