He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
