why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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