I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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