Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
