Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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