i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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