I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize