I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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