Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
