I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
