I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
