If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
