I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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