if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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