He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
