I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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